The Quiet Room- February Book Discussion

I am excited to be meeting up with our group tonight.  Our conversations are enriching and interesting.  But mostly, sharing my feelings and opinions helps me get closure on literary works recently read.  Tonight we are discussing The Quiet Room, written by Lori Schiller and Amanda Bennett.  

The Quiet Room is about Lori Schiller who grew up in Scarsdale, NY and finds herself sinking into a mental illness during a period that should have been liberating and exciting.  Just finishing her college education at Tufts University, Lori is soon defeated by the reality that something is not right with her mental health.   And after long hospital treatments and a multitude of tests and observations, Lori is diagnosed with schizophrenia.

The Schiller and Bennett reveal the dark and sinister voices that dominate Lori's daily life. She moves through hospitals, half way homes, and her family home fighting not only the voices that are screamingly inside of her mind but also fighting the reality of coming to terms with the illness itself.  Social acceptance and self independence are like grains of sand that easily slip through her hands just as she begins to take control of her life.  The battle is long, lonely, and at times dangerous for Lori as she finds the answers to her mental illness and a release from the voices.  As an observer, we are given a glimpse of Lori's illness and her personal fight to regain a small sense of normalcy back into her life and re-enter into society.      

Some discussion questions for your own discussion:

Given that Lori was the oldest of three children, did birth order affect the way her siblings and her parents approached Lori's illness?  What do you think the response would have been had Lori been the youngest or the middle child?

Social acceptance was quite important in Lori's community and also to her family.  How is Lori's illness perceived within her parent's circle of influence?  How does her illness affect Lori's own peers?

How do Lori's parents react and behave during Lori's illness?  Did their behavior and actions help or hinder Lori's treatments and therapy process?

There are many people living with mental disorders that go undiagnosed or untreated due to lack of support financially or otherwise such as Lori's own grandmother and great aunt who were excused as being "crazy" or "eccentric."  If her family's social ranking were anything less, do you think Lori could have received adequate support and been able to finally take her illness under control? 

There are a few voices in The Quiet Room that have a chance to express themselves including Lori's college friends, family members, and even the voices which take on a life of their own. Who do you most identify with mostly?  Who do you sympathize with?  Who do you think hurt Lori the most during her journey of torment?

There were many times where the voices gave her reasons to take her own life yet she finds strength to stay and fight the illness and reclaim her life.   Were her attempts at suicide cries for attention, help, or a true need to extinguish the madness within her?  Who or what stopped her from taking her own life? 

Lori made some decisions that proved to be disasterous  Let's recall these situations individually and discuss how her mental illness did or did not play a part in creating these life threatening situations.   At what point during these situations can we draw the line between her healthy mind and her state of illness?

Should a person living with a debilitating mental illness such as Lori's have right to seek suicide as an option to relieving his/her pain and mental anguish?  Had Lori have died due to the complications of the drugs clozapine, does this drug complication equate to a successful suicide attempt?  

Love Stories of Our Own

In the spirit of St. Valentine and the upcoming love and friendship day, I would like our readers to send in their love and friendship stories and I will post them.  I think we need to be reminded of what is important in life when so many things around us remind of the bad.  I don't think I need to cite the many examples. Just turn on the news if you wish to be depressed.    I think it's necessary and healthy to be reminded of the love that can surround our lives whether its from a good friend or a family pet.  Its love that makes the world a calm place to raise our children.  It's love that fulfills our desires to strive for something better and not settle for anything less.  It's love that pushes someone to achieve great feats.  It's love that takes care of the world's orphans and feeds the hungry.  Isn't it love for our family and friends that makes our lives worth while?  Acts of love towards strangers is contagious and memorable that feeds both the hearts of the giver and receiver.  Isn't it love that makes the world go round?  

So to start it off, I have two stories for you.

This is the story of my good friend, Kathy, and her family.  

When I was in grade school, I spent a lot of time with Kathy's family.  I had always loved her parents.  They were kind and generous and always treated me like one of their daughters.  During this time, Kathy had told me that her parents were divorcing.  To a young girl in grade school, I didn't understand nor did I feel it was in my business to ask any questions.  To me, I only knew that it didn't make any sense that two good caring people who were raising four wonderful girls would break apart a family unit. Over the course of the years, Kathy and I slowly lost touch with one another.  It's been over twenty years since I had seen Kathy last.  We finally connected through Facebook about one month ago.  During our conversation catching up about our past,  I asked how each of her parents were doing.   Her mother was doing great, still working with patients as a physical therapist and her father was well and healthy.  She had said that over the course of the years, her parents had always had maintained a close relationship with them as a family unit, spending time together during the holidays and such.  During one Christmas about five years ago, Kathy flew home from New York to visit for a few days.  During Christmas eve, her parents announced that they were getting married again!   They had kept their relationship on good terms while they dealt with their personal issues.   Finding strength and healing to overcome their individual struggles, they also found the courage to allow their love to continue over these years and came full circle to close the loop on what they had started so many years ago.  

This second story is about my godmother and her husband.  

My godmother Louise had married Stanley many many years ago in Los Angeles.  They relocated to Orange County and bought their first house in the mid 60's.  I lived across the street from them.  Stan was the kind of man who had many great stories to tell but he kept a quiet life.  Until you spent some time sitting in their living room couch, you wouldn't know that this man's eyes could sparkle like stars when he spoke of his days driving trucks or his time spent in the Army.  His wife Louise was the chatty one, garrulous at times, and loved to be the one to interrupt him and finish the story like it was her own.  

Louise and Stan loved each other.  They loved to gamble.  It became a past time and near hobby for them.  They would hit the road with their federal tax return money and try to increase their income at the tables.  They would save their coins, roll them up and hit the road from OC to Reno to play the slots.  Every day over the years, Louise would cook his meals, wash his clothes, and as he got older, she would take him to the doctors and drive him to church every Sunday, even if they were in Reno or Vegas, they never missed mass.  She loved him dearly and cared for him as a loving wife.  She had always kept her independence and worked over the years too but seeing them as I grew up, she had embraced her duties as wife and loving mother. Louise's love for Stan was unlike other couples.  Their relationship seemed like a gem in a coal mine.  He used to tell me, "As long as Louise was happy, that's all that mattered to him."  

As I got older and left for college, I had less opportunities to stop by her house and visit. During my sporadic and infrequent visits, I would see them age over the years.  Tears would swell in Louise's eyes as she would update me of their lives.  She told me of Stan's last visit to the doctors and the ailments that would keep building up:  

He needed to stop smoking, so he quit cold turkey.  

He couldn't see any longer.  

He couldn't drive any longer.  

His kidneys were failing him.    

He had been in and out of the hospital over the last few months.  

He caught pneumonia and had to be taken to emergency.  

He had to use a walker, he's too weak to stand strong on his own.  

He needed in home care because it was too much for Louise to do by herself any longer.  

He was now in a wheel chair.  

He just got transferred from his home to a hospice.  

He had been in hospice nearly two weeks.  

The next day would have been his 92nd birthday.  He had passed away in his bed.  

The funeral was small and private.  He was the world to her and she, his.  They were their own persons but even better as a couple.  To me they represented a true loving couple- not even close to a Ricky and Lucy type but more the private type that doesn't get the attention of TV and trash rags.   It's the type that behind closed doors they showed their affection and love for one another and toward others.  They were the kind of couple that you wished were your parents.  Louise once showed me a slice of her wedding cake that she had wrapped up in wax paper and had intended on eating it later after their wedding.  It somehow ended up being packed away with with her wedding dress.  Years later, it was still intact and on display under a glass case when they renewed their vows on their 50th anniversary.    Louise married Stan at the age of 19.  They were married for 69 years.  

Power Of One- Bryce Courtenay

Our book discussion for this month is Power of One by Bryce Courtenay.  I read this book in one of my literature classes at UCSD.  There were many books that I sold after the quarter was over and but for some reason, I couldn't let go of this book.  Rereading the book for a second time I understood why.  It felt like I was reading it for the first time.  Granted it's been about 15 years since I read this book.  I had forgotten about many of the characters that Peekay comes in contact with during his early life but the one thing that I remembered during and after the last word was read was the feelings and emotions that was arouse once more.  It's a feeling of true triumph of a boy turned man.  His victories were of him and beyond him.    

One aspect that I really appreciated about the book was the author's focus on Peekay's character development from boy to man without the common addition, usually found in other fiction books, of a love affair or girl crush to divert Peekay's focus and, consequently, the story's message.   There were some hints of his hormonal developments coming to natural maturity but the author didn't have sex be a part critical turning point of Peekay's maturity into manhood. He didn't sell out his virginity to the admiring girls of his hometown nor did he get raped by the large brutes of the copper mine town.  Thus, I thought the author mirrored Peekay's life very closely to the way he viewed Africa.  

Here are some discussion questions that I put together for our upcoming discussion.  

1. There are many characters that come into Peekay's life but what group affects him more?  Is it his nanny, inkosi-Inkosikazi, Hoppie, Doc, and Geel Piet?  Or is it Mevrou, the Judge, Sergeant Borman, and his mother?

2.  Peekay seemed to have a natural way of creating his own families when seemed nearly an orphan himself.   Who were his family?  Why were they so devoted to Peekay?  Who was absent in Peekay's life and how did it (or not) affect him?

3. Peekay had an opportunity to throw a fight against his nanny's true son and be rid of his Tadpole image.  Why do you think Peekay change his mind on how he was going to fight that night?

4.  Peekay is able to connect to a world beyond what can be seen and experienced by others. Cite some of these examples of this.  Who taught him how to transform his thoughts?  Who joined him in these experiences and what does it represent?  How does this affect Peekay?

5. What is the Power of One?  When and how did Peekay discover this?   Do you have the power of one within you?  Or in your past?  Was there a situation where you had to overcome an ordeal in which only you could resolve on your own?

6. There seems to be something mystical or religious about Peekay and the world around him.  Do you think this was Peekay's imagination to recreate a world that could better protect him? 

7.  Why did Peekay decline the scholarship and decide instead to work in the copper mines?  What was the significance of his decision?  

8.  Survival seems to be based largely on one's network of people to lean on and band together in order to beat the system.  Cite some examples of this.  

9. In contrast, does being an individual, being "one" open up one's vulnerability?  How does standing on one's own help one survive in such a system?  

10. What do you think of Doc?  How did he nurture Peekay's development from boy to man?  What significance would you give Doc in Peekay's life?  

11. Racism is woven throughout the countryside.  How does Peekay perceive this racial world that the author has depicted?  

12.  Death seems to follow Peekay.  Was this the sign of the times in Peekay's world?  Discuss the deaths of some of the characters and how Peekay was affected by them.  How did it change his world?

13. In a twist of fate, Peekay comes face to face with the Judge once more.  What did this encounter represent?  Did Peekay finally find closure to his early childhood experiences at the boarding school?

     

  

A Silver Lining

Armchair Travelers Book Club members all prayed for sunshine.  It was a brisk morning and most of us were working away at 5:30 am preparing for the event.    The sky was dark and gray with some pockets of sky peeking through, giving us false hope that the clouds would thin out, blow out, or hold out on the impending rain until after our first charity yard sale was over.  The rain would have surely killed the mood and kept the shoppers away.

The weather took care of us well until around 9:00 am.  It began to mist and then the real drops started to fall.  We scrambled between both houses to grab what we could and drag the goods into our garages where things wouldn't get ruined from the wetness.  And in spite of the rain, people continued to come and browse our tables full of books, toys, clothes, furniture, and housewares.   

For 50 cents, one man walked away with our last book selection, Monique and the Mango Rains, for his wife who was a peace corp volunteer like the book's author Holloway;   For an extra couple of quarters in our donation box, he drove away enjoying a couple of great homemade cookies.   

Some people wanted to bargain a $2.00 set of six ceramic coffee cups down to $1.00 while others gave more then what was asked for charity's sake.  And the cookies that Amy and Jen made brought smiles to the young restless kids who had to accompany their parents on a wet Saturday morning. 

A cute young couple showed up.  She was looking for stuff for him and he dug through a box of purses for her.  They left with an arm load of books and a few other things.  Two friends also spent their morning together perusing neighborhoods for good bargain finds.  For a moment, I wanted to do what these couples were doing.  Finding moments like these to bond and secure relationships and friendships.  But then I thought, what a wonderful memory we were creating that day, with good friends, we were doing something larger then all of us could do as a single person.  It was a bonding moment for us too.  And to have an opportunity to positively contribute to a greater cause then just selfishly praying for sunshine on that Saturday morning, I hope we had a chance to answer someone prayers if not our own.

We extended our charity yard sale an hour past our scheduled closing time of 11 am.  Damp in our clothes, the sun came out as the last customer was walking away with a bargain bag full of children's clothes- for $1.00!  We couldn't have done this without all the friends, family, and neighbors who donated the goods for our first charity event.  We raised nearly $700 for charity.  It was surely our silver lining on that rainy Saturday morning.  Thank you, thank you, thank you, to all who made this first event more successful that we could  have anticipated.   

  

1st Annual Charity Yard Sale

HUGE Two House Charity Yard Sale This Saturday!!!

Armchair Travelers Book Club is holding their 1st annual charity fundraising. Please stop by rain or shine on January 24th, 2009 and support a great cause!!

Ski and winter wear, children's toys and clothes, bikes, helmets

Women and men’s clothing

Jewelry, hundreds of books, book shelves

shoes – tons of shoes! And purses

Children’s items: baby seats, gyms, swings, strollers

Bed frame, picture frames

music and movie discs, housewares and holiday items

All proceeds of this fundraiser will go to Central Asia Institute, a non profit organization, whose main focus is building schools in remote villages of central Asia.

Location: 21 and 23 El Prisma

When: January 24, 2009

Time: 7am to 11am

Thank you for your support!

Armchair Travelers Book Club

Welcome to Armchair Travelers Book Club Review

Hello fellow readers, friends, and family!

Armchair Travelers Book Club is made up of 10 women in Rancho Santa Margarita, California.   The love of reading and enriching our minds through books became the building blocks of our foundation of friendship and community three years ago.

The books we chose to read coincidently always ventured into areas where we were most unfamiliar of its lands, culture, people, foods, political standings, education, or religious beliefs. From our well worn armchairs and couches, we traveled outside of our south Orange County homes to Iran, France, Africa, Afghanistan, Pakistan, and even outer space.  

Many of the characters and authors seemed to do things so remarkably beyond their own daily existence that it wasn't hard for us to rally behind them and feel their sense of triumph of overcoming great obstacles and goals.  They found strength when many would have given up long before.  They kept promises so large that many would think that there was no chance in hell that he or she, as one person, could possibly make a significant difference.

Then came our book Three Cups of Tea.   Greg Mortenson was our real hero.  A young man who attempted to climb K2, fatefully found himself lost in the snow covered mountains,and serendipitously stumbled into a remote village of Korphe in Northern Pakistan.  Learning that the children of the village were lacking the basic supplies and tools for a basic education, he promised his hospitable hosts to return and build a school for their children and future generations.   Risking his life at times, he never forgot his promise, and 78 schools later, he has now been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize.  

So during our scheduled discuss of Three Cups of Tea, we felt compelled to help our new found hero in his mission to building schools for children in central Asia.  It's a couple of his mottos of 'books not bombs' will bring peace throughout the world and 'when you educate a girl and you educate a community' that we thought was too inspiring to let it wisp away after the last page was read and last word was spoken of this book.  

Forming Armchair Travelers Book Club then took on an entirely new meaning beyond the comfortable settings of our living rooms for some social chatter.  Wanting to do more to help Mortenson's cause, we are now holding our first annual charity fundraiser.  All proceeds raised will go to CAI, Central Asia Institute, Mortenson's non profit organization.   

We have slowly been collecting books, household items, shoes, children's clothes, dvds, electronics, and toys which will be for sale at our first annual charity yard sale.  The event will be held Saturday, January 24th from 7am to 11am at 21 and  23 El Prisma. 

Thank you to all of our friends and family who have donated items for this event.  Our ability to give to this cause extends through to your generosity and we can't thank you enough.   It costs about $1 per month to educate a young child in some of these remote areas.    Your generosity will make an impact beyond what we will ever know.  

Sincerely-

Armchair Travelers Book Club

Rancho Santa Margarita, CA